ebb and flow

17 Feb

Life at the moment is interesting in many respects. I find myself on a daily basis swinging from the place of thinking that much as been achieved in a relatively short space of time to frustrations of not being able to make things happen quicker or in just the ‘perfect way.’

Life around Forest Edge Coffee Shop is developing well, there still remains a real sense of ebb and flow but the atmosphere is good, the demographic of people attending is fairly broad as is the different walks of life from within the village. It still feels fragile in many ways, it is still too heavily reliant on me and I need to continue to work on withdrawing myself to a degree.

I am also working with the team here to try and come up with a more clarified sense of ethos and values without straight jacketing us with no room for manoeuver. There are many things being worked upon be they are not at a stage of working themselves out physically. I feel fine with this but as a new project the balance between exploring and tangible evidence is a hard one to balance.

One of my main hopes and dreams around being here was the chance to explore a new type of christian community. I think some of my frustration is caught up within not having got further. I realise that this is something I need but again looking for fellow journeyers down this path and the actual practicalities of making something happen has been a slow burner. I am not happy with the last sentence and some of its implications of church being about doing, but I can’t just find the appropriate words.

I also realise more and more that peoples expectations of me can lead me to feel drained. I think I am learning and need to learn faster that I can’t live up to the many and differing expectations of others.

The move into our own place more within the heart of the community I hope will again make us feel further rooted into this community.

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